Good Morning Humanoids! This is Lonestar Old Lady Nap and these are today’s top stories.

The big news coming out of Raw this week was the immediate setup of the top matches for Summerslam. And boy, are they top matches! C M Punk got absolutely clobbered last night by Brock Lesnar, which has to set up a match between the two Paul Heyman guys at the big event. We also got an official match for the WWE Championship when John Cena selected Daniel Bryan to be his opponent. Bryan, naturally, said yes, along with pretty much everyone everywhere. I’m pretty sure there’s an alien civilization near Saturn that chanted “Yes!” when they heard the news.

With Bryan getting the title shot against Cena, Summerslam’s main event is pretty much guaranteed to be good and it’s also highly likely to become of the best matches in John Cena’s storied career. I mean seriously, with the way Daniel Bryan is rolling right now, how can a match against Cena with main event status and main event time not be good?

…..the cynics amongst you might say “Uh, The Bella Twins.”

WWE are still planning on doing Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena for the WWE Title at this year’s SummerSlam pay-per-view, as of this past weekend. As previously reported, the storyline will likely have a Total Divas twist to it as stars of the show, The Bella Twins, are both dating Cena and Bryan.

The feud between Cena and Bryan likely won’t begin until the first or second week after Total Divas premiers on television and will be spotlighted on the reality show.

There are plans in place to do an angle on RAW where Cena asks the WWE Universe who his next challenger should be, with the idea that Bryan will be picked.

That was posted yesterday before Raw and should probably be taken with a heaping spoonful of salt seeing as it contradicts itself (how does a feud being two weeks after an its opening angle happens?) but yeah, it would totally make sense for the WWE to involve the Bellas in the match somehow as it would promote the WWE Divas show that is about to premiere and features everyone involved in this story. But that would mean wrestling purists get their vision trampled on by whatever the Bellas bring into it.

Honestly, I’ve got enough faith in Daniel Bryan and John Cena to expect a good match from them even if they wrestle in pink tu-tu’s and incorporate a run-in from Josie, Bryan and Bri Bella’s adorable dog.


-Ring of Honor will run a 16 man tournament to crown a new ROH champion in the near future. Here are the participants announced so far and my unwitty jokes/observations about them.

(1) #1 contender Michael Elgin (Double #1 Contender?)
(2) Brian Kendrick
(3) "Machine Gun" Karl Anderson (Legit NJPW wrestler. Way under his league here.)
(4) Kevin Steen (Zoo-ethusiast. Personal dream to look up at my work and see Kevin Steen.)
(5) Paul London
(6) Roderick Strong (Master of the glass ceiling)
(7) Adam Cole (Should really be in NXT. Good choice for tournament winner.)
(8) Sonjay Dutt
(9) B.J. Whitmer
(10) Tommaso Ciampa
(11) Jay Lethal
(12) Michael Bennett (w/Maria) (Maria for ROH World Champ!)
(13) Adam Page or Silas Young
(14) TV champion Matt Taven

Participant number 15 will be decided via facebook poll. There are five choices, ACH and four people I’m barely aware of. Click here to vote.

-There’s been a “report” circulating the web about how the Shield’s Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns have had “heat” on them since debuting in the WWE. There’s no stated reason for the heat, because of course there isn’t. (

Man, if appearing on tv in a dominating and important fashion, beating multiple teams full of the companies top superstars for months on end, taking out the UNDERTAKER, and picking up titles on your first try is heat, then I’d like some of that stuff, please.

And that’s the news! Remember children, try not to dwell on rumors and enjoy wrestling.